Now, if you are an avid reader of my blog (and I hope that you are!) then you will look at the title of this and say, “But Hey, just last week you told us to “Keep Going!” Well as hypocritical as it may sound there is a method to the madness…a delicate balance actually. You must allow or “Receive” it. (Yeah I know I already wrote a blog about receiving too) so where do I go from here since I have basically addressed both the ‘Persistance’ and ‘Receiving’ areas? Well, there is a very important and mostly overlooked area in between the “Giving it All You Got” spot and the “Let the Blessings Flow Over You” spot.
Here is my take on it: It’s like driving from home to a party (not A party THE party of the year) but the party is an hour away. The first half of the drive you are super anxious to get there. You finally drag yourself out of the house so you won’t be late. You hop in the car and you triple check your rearview to make sure you don’t have lipstick on your teeth. Your stomach is in knots… from excitement (hopefully not because of the bean burrito you had earlier). You are on the road…there is a smile on your face as you are preparing yourself to receive the news of a lifetime…that you are indeed getting that promotion or will definitely meet your soulmate or your child will be getting that scholarship. Whatever the “Party” means to you…it’s a great thing! Something you have always wanted. So, you are on the road and then about 15 minutes in you find yourself just sort of coasting. The butterflies have flitted away and you find yourself looking at the trees and taking more interest in the billboards along your drive. Maybe you are streaming your favorite songs and belting them out for everyone on the road to hear. You enjoy a smooth 15 minutes of that. I mean that was a REALLY awesome 15 minutes of no worries, of “just chillingness” (I know that’s not a word) and it felt wonderful. Then, you hit a pocket of traffic (especially if you’re in LA). You hit your brake and then ask how you can make it to the party at the time you originally planned for. Now instead of 30 minutes away GPS says you are 45 minutes away. That is 15 minutes of “lateness” you desire to avoid! You sigh and then you honk the horn at the people in front of you. You try to drive around them just to get stuck behind another car. You grunt, you curse, you check GPS for an alternate route and when the alternate routes are longer than the current you throw your phone (screen protector don’t fail you now). The butterflies return but this time they brought their friends…the wasps! Or at least it feels like wasps flying around in your tummy because you are nervous about being late. You have done your best you have persevered and you have called them to let them know that you are stuck in traffic and that you did your absolute best to get there on time. You tense up, you run plays in your mind that maybe if you could have only anticipated a now 30-minute delay things would have been better, you beat yourself up, you cry hoping that by the time you get there that there will still be good news for you. You hope that no one else has taken your seat. The traffic begins to move “Finally!” you scream. You slam on the gas and swerve in between cars. You are intent on making up the time you lost in traffic. As you switch lanes again now going at least 80mph you see sirens in your rearview. “Crap!” You pull over and we all know what happens from there. You finally arrive at the party but now instead of 30 minutes late you are an hour late and getting the side eye glances you were hoping to avoid.
I’m sure you are saying, “Ok, so is this a book or a blog post…sheesh Audra!” I know, pardon my long windedness but this type of thing happens to me. I get super excited about a thing and then when it doesn’t flow according to MY timeline I push, push and push SO hard that I push it away from myself. Not until this morning did it finally hit me. “How so?” you ask. Well good question, it all hit me when I had to cancel my recording session over the weekend. It was really hard for me because I had been waiting to get into the studio for a few months and then all of a sudden a few days prior I catch a cold or maybe it’s a sinus thing all I know is that I sound like a stuffy-nosed Fran Drescher (no shade-LOVE Fran Drescher). I know I can’t record a song like that but my instincts told me to push myself somehow. I tried to go for a jog to sweat it out but that gave me even more of a headache. I took all of the supplements I could and rested and I still sounded like I was speaking through a tin can walkie-talkie. I wanted to get angry with my co-workers for any coughs I was exposed to that may have caused this malady. I did all I could do but this time I didn’t speed. I didn’t swerve across the lanes at 80mph nearly missing the other cars I just expressed to the producer my sorrow for missing the session and asked to reschedule. Who knows what may happen, my faith says that we will just reschedule for next week when I am better and all will be well. And my ego is still trying to find someone to blame. I now find myself 15 minutes into the drive where my butterflies have flown away and I am just cruising looking at the billboards and listening to some music. I wish it was MY music I was listening to but I remind myself that I am heading to the party…I am ON MY WAY and its better to be 30 minutes late than an hour late with a $400 speeding ticket and traffic school waiting for me! (Yeah been there…done that!)
If you have ever watched Parks and Recreation then you know the phrase “Treat yo’ self!” Well, in this instance I encourage you to “Catch yo’ self!” When you know you have done your best…just chill…relax…trust! Don’t do 80 or 100 on the freeway…it doesn’t always get you there faster!
“The faster you go the longer it may take.” –Audra A. Bryant