There are no mistakes…because you have a supreme destiny!” –Oprah Winfrey
As I have stated in previous blog posts, I have battled for so long about choosing a particular path in entertainment. “Should I just sing? Act? Do Comedy? Produce? Write? Be a juggler for Ringling Brothers?” (Well maybe not that last one) I felt overwhelmed by it all and then I would compare myself to others who chose one path immediately and I bashed myself for not being them…for not having a journey that looked more fluid. I felt like their path was smoother because of their choices when in actuality I have NO idea what their path really looks and feels like for them from the inside out. But I do see they are moving forward on their path and that is the part that made me envious because the forward movement is the area in which I got stuck. I got stuck in the planning stage instead of just taking consistent action. I let my self-doubt overrule my faith in myself. A wise woman and awesome career coach, comedian, and educator, Angel Gaines, said that “When you are in the “wilderness” the best thing you can do is to keep walking.” But, I felt like I needed to know exactly which path to choose because it is of course very important to have a destination. But when I couldn’t figure out the destination I just stopped walking. I ignored the “faith” portion of myself that believed that I would eventually arrive at the right destination and camped out in the wilderness refusing to move unless I knew exactly where I was going. NO BUENO! NOT GOOD! NAH SON! That was not the right move because doing nothing made me WAY more depressed than doing something even though I didn’t know 100% where it is/was all leading to.
I learned that you find your way in the wilderness. You find the depths of your soul when you don’t know how to get out of a particular place/space in your life. That is where the refining occurs. It is also the challenge that thrills us! Imagine being in a pitch black room and having to find your way to the exit. You feel along the walls for a doorknob, you look for a light source, you smell rain (can that be a window? You ask yourself) You hear a noise from what sounds like a hallway and hallways have doors. Hot dog you found the door! It reminds me of the escape room I went to for my birthday. It was 11 of us locked in a room where the theme of the room is that a killer locked us in his basement and we have to figure out how to escape by piecing together clues. Though we didn’t solve the puzzle we got to see how brave people were for going to collect the clues in the spookiness of that room and how clever people were to put together the clues we found that got us closer to our exit. Just FYI, though we did not escape in the allotted time we were about 65% there and only 14% of guests escape their first time doing the room. All in all, my point is that if we were locked in the room and immediately saw a huge sign that read, “Here is the code to unlock the door” and we walked right out of the room we would have all demanded our money back!! #JustSayin
If I would have “made it” earlier on as a singer then I may never have really discovered my desire for acting, comedy or playwriting. I would have been a “one trick pony” maybe further along but could have easily chosen not to explore my other gifts for fear of losing the audience I had already obtained. We never know. That is why Oprah’s quote above was so liberating to me! I thought I made so many mistakes that it would disqualify me for what I ultimately wanted but this wilderness gave me the chance to gather the information about what I like…don’t like…I’m great at, I’m not so great at. It has and is helping me to craft the vision of the destination I see for myself on the deepest levels, but the vision only becomes clearer as I continue walking.